How to be (un)happy – existentialism in a nutshell

In a previous blog I’ve written about the question of self love, how it can be achieved through a deep connection with another. In recent times I have become increasingly interested in the answers that existential philosophy offers to this question. In the wonderful talk linked below, Dr Meg-John Barker speaks about this and other

Silence is golden?

The success of counselling may depend largely on what happens between counsellor and client – what is talked about, what is discovered in the exploration, the new reflections and insights that emerge. So what if you arrive at a counselling session and don’t know what to say? The feeling of not having anything to say

Leaving the rat race & self actualisation

Almost a year into the COVID-19 pandemic, with vaccines coming and the bright prospect of a return to normal life on the horizon, we as a society are having to consider how things will have changed when it’s all over. Will everything be the same as it was before? The future is notoriously difficult to

Writing it out

In a previous article, I talked about the benefits of art in relation to mental wellbeing and how it can be used to aid communication in therapy. Here I specifically want to talk about writing, one of my own preferred outlets, and how I think it can be of great service when one feels stuck

How to move through trauma

When I was in training, someone recommended Bessel Van Der Kolk’s “The Body Keeps The Score” to me as fundamental reading. A seminal work on the latest understanding of trauma and its treatments, this book ended up having a profound effect on me and my work as a therapist. Since then I have read articles,

Art and therapy

I’ve used art and creativity all my life to express myself and make sense of the confusing vagaries of life. It wasn’t until I began my counselling training that I realised art could be used as a powerful therapeutic tool. Expressing oneself and making sense of life are of course two important processes in therapy.

Keeping it together in isolation

It’s been a tough few months. In the UK we entered ‘lockdown’ on the 23rd March, following most European countries by requiring everyone to stay at home except for essential trips outside. Efforts to stem the spread of the coronavirus have forced the world to adopt social distancing and become more isolated. It’s been four

The benefits of being inside

I have seen a quote doing the rounds on social media that seems apposite during present events: “If you can’t go outside, go inside.” I cannot find the original author of the quote – perhaps it belongs to an ancient sage, or perhaps it was a random tweet that went viral in the last few

Social anxiety and the fear of the unknown

You’ve been invited to a party and you don’t know whether to go. It’s your closest friend’s 50th birthday, you want to help them celebrate and they’re expecting you to come. They invited you months ago and you’ve given every indication that you will be going. But you’re not having a good day today, and

Self acceptance and the value of a deep connection

How do I learn to love myself? It’s a question that many, if not all of us would like the answer to. If you experienced the shame of chronic abuse of bullying, or the lack of a nurturing parental bond when you were young, then self-acceptance can be especially hard to develop. It can seem like

Philip Schofield’s public private moment – and why it matters to me

He sat there quietly, trying to avoid the gaze of the camera as his friend Holly Willoughby read out the big statement that he had just put out on social media. He looked nervous and unsure of himself, remarkable for a veteran TV presenter who has spent more than three decades in front of the

Starting a private practice

There are plenty of books, magazine articles and blogs out there for therapists who are starting their own private practice. The tone of what’s been written on this subject is invariably positive and encouraging: you can make your therapy business a success, if you just learn how to market and sell your personal brand well

On being an anxious counsellor

The assessment notes told me that my first ever client, whom I was about to meet, suffered from childhood trauma, generalised anxiety disorder and OCD. Naturally, I felt overwhelmed. More than that, I immediately felt panic at the scale of this client’s problems. What was I to do when I too suffered from childhood trauma