How to be (un)happy – existentialism in a nutshell

In a previous blog I’ve written about the question of self love, how it can be achieved through a deep connection with another. In recent times I have become increasingly interested in the answers that existential philosophy offers to this question. In the wonderful talk linked below, Dr Meg-John Barker speaks about this and otherContinue reading “How to be (un)happy – existentialism in a nutshell”

Leaving the rat race & self actualisation

Almost a year into the COVID-19 pandemic, with vaccines coming and the bright prospect of a return to normal life on the horizon, we as a society are having to consider how things will have changed when it’s all over. Will everything be the same as it was before? The future is notoriously difficult toContinue reading “Leaving the rat race & self actualisation”

How to move through trauma

When I was in training, someone recommended Bessel Van Der Kolk’s “The Body Keeps The Score” to me as fundamental reading. A seminal work on the latest understanding of trauma and its treatments, this book ended up having a profound effect on me and my work as a therapist. Since then I have read articles,Continue reading “How to move through trauma”

Keeping it together in isolation

It’s been a tough few months. In the UK we entered ‘lockdown’ on the 23rd March, following most European countries by requiring everyone to stay at home except for essential trips outside. Efforts to stem the spread of the coronavirus have forced the world to adopt social distancing and become more isolated. It’s been fourContinue reading “Keeping it together in isolation”

Social anxiety and the fear of the unknown

You’ve been invited to a party and you don’t know whether to go. It’s your closest friend’s 50th birthday, you want to help them celebrate and they’re expecting you to come. They invited you months ago and you’ve given every indication that you will be going. But you’re not having a good day today, andContinue reading “Social anxiety and the fear of the unknown”

Self acceptance and the value of a deep connection

How do I learn to love myself? It’s a question that many, if not all of us would like the answer to. If you experienced the shame of chronic abuse of bullying, or the lack of a nurturing parental bond when you were young, then self-acceptance can be especially hard to develop. It can seem likeContinue reading “Self acceptance and the value of a deep connection”

Philip Schofield’s public private moment – and why it matters to me

He sat there quietly, trying to avoid the gaze of the camera as his friend Holly Willoughby read out the big statement that he had just put out on social media. He looked nervous and unsure of himself, remarkable for a veteran TV presenter who has spent more than three decades in front of theContinue reading “Philip Schofield’s public private moment – and why it matters to me”

Starting a private practice

There are plenty of books, magazine articles and blogs out there for therapists who are starting their own private practice. The tone of what’s been written on this subject is invariably positive and encouraging: you can make your therapy business a success, if you just learn how to market and sell your personal brand wellContinue reading “Starting a private practice”

On being an anxious counsellor

The assessment notes told me that my first ever client, whom I was about to meet, suffered from childhood trauma, generalised anxiety disorder and OCD. Naturally, I felt overwhelmed. More than that, I immediately felt panic at the scale of this client’s problems. What was I to do when I too suffered from childhood traumaContinue reading “On being an anxious counsellor”